A Counseling and Opinion Blog

Posts tagged ‘Words’

Too much information

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As a Psychologist, I am continually amazed at the amount of information people are willing to post about themselves on social media. Having observed this phenomenon for nearly a decade, it seems people become more emboldened each day with what they choose to tell the world about themselves.

These are the same everyday people that when I was in the ministry and private practice would come to me with a problem(s) yet reluctant to say anything; it was often near impossible to pry any information out of them. Many times, it would take weeks just to get a patient to open up enough for the two of us to have a meaningful dialogue much less the “Nitti gritty” of the problem.  

Today however, people post any and everything on the web and especially social media; every conceivable personal problem (emotional or physical) is posted, elaborated, sometimes with photos and hundreds of comments from around the world are given.

It’s simply ridiculous. People on my social media pages have posted everything imaginable from their problem with toe fungus, corns and calluses, constipation, hemorrhoids, hurt feelings, depression, anxiety, what they’re having for dinner, their pet’s illnesses, whether they think someone is a liar or not,  questioning or diagnosing mental disorders of friends or relatives, sexual dysfunction and  so much more.

Again, these are the same people that will not seek out professional help.

With no apology, if I were still in private practice, I would consider having about half my social media friends temporarily committed for observation.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you people? I know many of you and some things you have posted on my social media pages, I just can’t believe.

I don’t want to hear about how your cat vomited all over you and the bed during the night, or how your hemorrhoids kept you up all night or why you think Uncle Jed or sister Sue is definitely Bi-polar or Schizophrenic or how you hope your boyfriend doesn’t find out about your one night stand with the guy you met at Starbucks on your way home from work; duh? He does now and so does everybody else.

The problems people used to bring to their ministers, psychologist, psychiatrist and counselors is now simply thrown out on social media like confetti being dropped from a tall building in a parade with their social media post dropped on anyone and everyone consequences be damned.

This is to say the least frivolous, irresponsible and (excuse the expression) just crazy.

Let me be clear, it’s not that I’m not concerned or don’t want to be your social media friend but frankly if you want to talk to me about it, contact me privately and personally.

I will be happy to listen as a Minister or Christian Psychologist or Addiction Counselor (take your pick, I’m all)  but be prepared to sign both a hold harmless agreement and non-disclosure statement along with my fee of $125.00 CASH (I also take Pay Pal) per hour (for a fifty minute counseling session) which I will be happy to conduct in person or via video chat.

Then and only then will I l be willing to listen to your earth shattering problems and difficulties which you feel  are so troubling that you must broadcast to the entire world over social media opening yourself to every Troll, Phishing scam, hacker, malware, ransom ware or worse and possibly losing everything you have including your very life.

Seriously people, grow up and stop thinking all of us as social media friends want or need to know everything about you; we don’t.

Posting too much information on social media is dangerous and psychologically speaking can speak volumes as to your mental and emotional state of mind.

If you are really troubled about something, please seek professional help.

© 2017 Lee W. Outlaw III, PhD

There is no time like the present

There is no time like the present

by

Dr. Lee Outlaw

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Christians must speak out

In light of the upcoming election and recent events pertaining to it, I thought an update and reposting of this article was both in order and appropriate.

Within the past five years since this article was written, there appears to have become a near withdrawal from reality by many within the Christian church.

Although many Christians today remain concerned that there’s not enough attention being paid to the negative going on throughout the world, there has also developed an almost escapism attitude by others. Many so called Christian churches have become nothing more than repositories of universal truth, Eastern mysticism and metaphysical thought.

Pastors and preachers of many mega churches have become more “New Age Free Thinkers” than proclaimers of the good news of Jesus Christ.

One well known pastor of one these churches recently Tweeted, “If you cannot be positive, then at least be quiet”; a kind of new age version of the old adage, “If you can’t say something good, then don’t say anything at all”.

The problem is, if what you know is considered negative by some or even the majority and you fail to say something or acknowledge such a negative reality, it might actually hurt you or someone else.

There have been decades of emphasis away from discerning truth and reality among Christian people; it’s been more of a “let’s just get along” approach to life. According to many believers, this has separated fact from fiction with more emphasis on what could be rather than what is.

Again, if there is a failure to acknowledge a negative situation, it can destroy both growth and progress. Many people, including an increasing number of Christians are refusing to discuss anything which they consider negative while withdrawing from the real world all around them.

An important point to remember here is that refusing to talk about the negative does not remove a negative situation and denying the negative does not eliminate it’s reality.

It’s quite amazing that the “Tell it Like it is” Christian youth of the 60’s and 70’s have grown up with such a complacent, compromising, politically correct mentality that has put the Christian church in a sad state of decline in this country.

The country’s difficult financial situation hasn’t helped in the past several decades either. Church memberships are rapidly declining leading to reduced giving. At the same time there has been increased overhead in church operational expenses for things like utilities, office expense and even higher salaries for full-time pastors and clergy. As a result, the church is often seen by many as living in a world of fantasy rather than fact.

Some churches will not even discuss finances with their congregations simply for fear they will be interpreted as being “negative”.

As each week goes by and everyone puts on the proverbial “Happy Face”, they rarely discuss the real problems being faced by everyone in the country for fear of the “negative” label.

Churches simply don’t want to get involved politically either; they fear someone is going to call them on the carpet for doing so. Individual Christians might involve themselves in “The Tea Party” or a similar political movement, but if they’re at church, they’ll talk in code and say things like, “Do you TP?”, If you don’t know what that means, you might consider the person is either a little off or just getting way too personal about personal hygiene.

The point is, Christians must stop being so laid back and speak up. Just because we who call ourselves Christian speak out about a topic does not mean we are either negative or against everything. We demonstrate love, care and concern for people better than any group in the world.

Christians give the most help to people the fastest and stay longer following a catastrophe than any other group. Government groups like FEMA usually show up late and leave quickly. It is the Christian church that builds and maintains most of the hospitals and universities in America and much of the world.

As a result of all that the Christian church does and has done, it is time for Christians to speak out openly. We need to “Tell it like it is”. When something is negative, politically incorrect, wrong, something is bad or something is evil, we need to stop side stepping, stop avoiding the controversy and simply say it.

Jesus said, “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one”. Matthew 5:37 In other words, don’t try to put a positive “spin” on something that is actually negative; to do so is to lie.

There is no time like the present to take a stand for Christ.

© 2016 Dr. Lee Outlaw