Online Christian Counseling and Opinion

Posts tagged ‘truth’

NO Profanity Please

Updated September 5, 2018

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After writing this article almost two years ago, I felt it necessary to take a break from my current seven part series on “What is wrong with people? and time for an edit and update. It seems to me the flagrant and frequent use of profanity on social media is certainly another issue “wrong with people”.

Say I’m a prude if you choose but there is nothing more unpleasant and distasteful within social media today, than people using unnecessary profanity within their online post to make a point.

What amazes me most is that people who wouldn’t dare utter a “damn” or “hell” in public seem to have no problem utilizing the often known “Favorite Five” words of profanity without hesitation and cursing on-line like the proverbial sailor (no offense or disrespect to our men and women of the Navy; many of which I know seldom use profanity.)
Even more alarming is the use of the “F” word; used so much today, that it’s often referred to as the “F – Bomb”.  It seems some people can’t speak or write without using it. Especially upsetting is the ease and frequency of it’s use by women and children.
Since the original writing of this article back in February. 2017, I’ve noticed there are now even Facebook pages and websites all dedicated to the “F-bomb” with such titles as WTF, IDGF, WFC and many others. I even know several author friends that have incorporated this vile disgusting word into their email addresses and user names; how degrading. Why would any normal, rational and decent human being want to be known as “F’n this” or “F’n that”; it seems rather demeaning.
In addendum, it’s interesting that Facebook will allow the pursuit and use of profanity over their social media platform in defense of “Free Speech” while removing and blocking conservative news articles and those with differing intelligent opinions, including many Christian website posts.
Ok, it’s true on this point I’m extremely unapologetically conservative. I am also unapologetically a Christian. But right is right and wrong is wrong and profanity is simply wrong; don’t even try to justify its use. Nothing good ever results from the use of profanity; only those with uncontrolled anger issues and people given over to corrupt thinking feel the need for its use.
Women might be equal to men and share the right to freedom of  speech but “SHAME on you”!  Stop with the proverbial “potty mouth” and be a lady. By the way, we need more women becoming ladies again.
As to our children today, they simply need their mouths washed out with the soap that Man paying a swear jarfloats (completely harmless- can’t say the name because the company doesn’t advocate the practice) every single time they use a vulgar disgusting word. If we returned to that practice, we’d have most kids speaking correctly, decently and without profanity.
Call this practice abuse if you like but  my late mother, father and both grandmothers used that practice on me and it worked. By the way, at age 67, I don’t have any physical, social or psychological problems resulting from those experiences.  In Psychology we simply call it “Behavioral modification” and those that know me know I don’t curse. I find no need for it and find the whole thing disgusting.
Even in my time working in the auto body industry  while working my way through college, seminary and grad school, the body men, painters and techs were horrible with their use of profanity. Much of this filthy talk resulted from the difficult,frustrating and often dangerous work. For me, I simply chose not to curse or use profanity and I continue that same refrain today.
That’s not to say I’m a saint, I am not. I am a sinner saved by grace and yes, I have thought in profane words on rare occasions. Even in anger however,  I usually refer mentally to other descriptive words; words that actually have meaning, descriptive value and purpose.
The truth is, most people who use profanity actually have no idea what they’re saying. They’re simply repeating  words they’ve heard others say since childhood and because profanity is basically simple one or two syllable descriptive words, they became easy to learn and pronounce. If parents or grand parents didn’t squelch such use through stern reprimand or behavioral modification, the words were assimilated into their everyday vocabulary.
Most people only think they know what the curse words they use mean; in reality the meaning is not at all what they have been led to understand. The etymology (origin and history)  of the word is actually surprising to most people.
As a psychologist certified in the treatment of “sexual dysfunction” (and I’m not referring to the popularized medical ED term here), I have found in group therapy all too often the degree to which people are vocabulary ignorant. Men and women often can’t even describe their own sexual organs because they have been so used to a few descriptive profanity words.
The bottom line is there is simply NO need for the “gutter style language” so prevalent in today’s society.
If you’re a frequent user of profanity, ask yourself WHY ? Is your vocabulary so limited that any words containing more than 4 or 5 letters with the occasional adding of “ing”  are beyond your comprehension or ability to pronounce?
If that’s the case, start reading a Dictionary or Thesaurus  and develop a QUALITY vocabulary. Then, you can be stern, firm or “pithy” in your postings without the use of profanity. Vulgarity is never necessary and should not be tolerated by any of us; especially in on-line social media.  It is unbecoming, disrespectful and demonstrates a lack of character and morality; both which are sorely needed in social media.
I realize all of this is very Non-Politically Correct these days especially with regard to millennials and  those on the Progressive Left; so be it.  As a result, let me dig in a little deeper  in being Non PC by sharing a true story of one of the South’s favorite sons, General Robert E. Lee.
As the Civil War was winding down, Confederate General Lee was meeting with some of his key officers discussing serious strategy. The language was very hostile, frustrating and “colorful” (profane & vulgar) to say the least. In the midst of this very important and strategic meeting, history records that General Lee turned around and began to walk away. A Colonel called out to him and said, “What’s wrong General Lee, there are no women or children here?” General Lee turned around and responded, “No sir, there are no women or children here but there is a Christian Gentleman”; the general turned around again and walked away.
I am proud to say that my great grandfather, grandfather, father, myself and my oldest son as well as thousands of other men and women throughout the South were named after this Christian gentleman.
God’s Word reminds us, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone”. Colossians 4:6
There simply isn’t any reason ever for profanity.
May God both guide and guard your speech.
© 2018 Lee W. Outlaw III, PhD
Once again, as a side NOTE, I will no longer tolerate rude, crude and distasteful language on any of my social media sites from ANYONE.

There is no time like the present

There is no time like the present

by

Dr. Lee Outlaw

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Christians must speak out

In light of the upcoming election and recent events pertaining to it, I thought an update and reposting of this article was both in order and appropriate.

Within the past five years since this article was written, there appears to have become a near withdrawal from reality by many within the Christian church.

Although many Christians today remain concerned that there’s not enough attention being paid to the negative going on throughout the world, there has also developed an almost escapism attitude by others. Many so called Christian churches have become nothing more than repositories of universal truth, Eastern mysticism and metaphysical thought.

Pastors and preachers of many mega churches have become more “New Age Free Thinkers” than proclaimers of the good news of Jesus Christ.

One well known pastor of one these churches recently Tweeted, “If you cannot be positive, then at least be quiet”; a kind of new age version of the old adage, “If you can’t say something good, then don’t say anything at all”.

The problem is, if what you know is considered negative by some or even the majority and you fail to say something or acknowledge such a negative reality, it might actually hurt you or someone else.

There have been decades of emphasis away from discerning truth and reality among Christian people; it’s been more of a “let’s just get along” approach to life. According to many believers, this has separated fact from fiction with more emphasis on what could be rather than what is.

Again, if there is a failure to acknowledge a negative situation, it can destroy both growth and progress. Many people, including an increasing number of Christians are refusing to discuss anything which they consider negative while withdrawing from the real world all around them.

An important point to remember here is that refusing to talk about the negative does not remove a negative situation and denying the negative does not eliminate it’s reality.

It’s quite amazing that the “Tell it Like it is” Christian youth of the 60’s and 70’s have grown up with such a complacent, compromising, politically correct mentality that has put the Christian church in a sad state of decline in this country.

The country’s difficult financial situation hasn’t helped in the past several decades either. Church memberships are rapidly declining leading to reduced giving. At the same time there has been increased overhead in church operational expenses for things like utilities, office expense and even higher salaries for full-time pastors and clergy. As a result, the church is often seen by many as living in a world of fantasy rather than fact.

Some churches will not even discuss finances with their congregations simply for fear they will be interpreted as being “negative”.

As each week goes by and everyone puts on the proverbial “Happy Face”, they rarely discuss the real problems being faced by everyone in the country for fear of the “negative” label.

Churches simply don’t want to get involved politically either; they fear someone is going to call them on the carpet for doing so. Individual Christians might involve themselves in “The Tea Party” or a similar political movement, but if they’re at church, they’ll talk in code and say things like, “Do you TP?”, If you don’t know what that means, you might consider the person is either a little off or just getting way too personal about personal hygiene.

The point is, Christians must stop being so laid back and speak up. Just because we who call ourselves Christian speak out about a topic does not mean we are either negative or against everything. We demonstrate love, care and concern for people better than any group in the world.

Christians give the most help to people the fastest and stay longer following a catastrophe than any other group. Government groups like FEMA usually show up late and leave quickly. It is the Christian church that builds and maintains most of the hospitals and universities in America and much of the world.

As a result of all that the Christian church does and has done, it is time for Christians to speak out openly. We need to “Tell it like it is”. When something is negative, politically incorrect, wrong, something is bad or something is evil, we need to stop side stepping, stop avoiding the controversy and simply say it.

Jesus said, “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one”. Matthew 5:37 In other words, don’t try to put a positive “spin” on something that is actually negative; to do so is to lie.

There is no time like the present to take a stand for Christ.

© 2016 Dr. Lee Outlaw