A Counseling and Opinion Blog

Posts tagged ‘anxiety’

NO Profanity Please

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Say I’m a prude if you choose but there is nothing more unpleasant and distasteful within social media today, than people using unnecessary profanity within their online post to make a point.

What amazes me most is that people who wouldn’t dare utter a “damn” or “hell” in public seem to have no problem utilizing the often known “Favorite Five” words of profanity without hesitation and cursing on-line like the proverbial sailor (no offense or disrespect to our men and women of the Navy; many of which I know seldom use profanity.)
Even more alarming is the use of the “F” word; used so much today, that it’s often referred to as the “F – Bomb”.  It seems some people can’t speak or write without using it. Especially upsetting is the ease and frequency of it’s use by women and children.
Ok, it’s true on this point I’m extremely unapologetically conservative.
Women might be equal to men and share the right to freedom of  speech but “SHAME on you”!  Stop with the proverbial “potty mouth” and be a lady. By the way, we need more women becoming ladies again.
As to our children today, they simply need their mouths washed out with the soap that Man paying a swear jarfloats (completely harmless- can’t say the name because the company doesn’t advocate the practice) every single time they use a vulgar disgusting word. If we returned to that practice, we’d have most kids speaking correctly, decently and without profanity.
Call this practice abuse if you like but  my late mother, father and both grandmothers used that practice on me and it worked. By the way, at age 65, I don’t have any physical, social or psychological problems resulting from those experiences.  In Psychology we simply call it “Behavioral modification” and those that know me know I don’t curse. I find no need for it and find the whole thing disgusting.
Even in my time working in the auto body industry  while working my way through college and grad school, the body men, painters and techs were horrible with their use of profanity because of the potential for anger and frustration from the hard and often dangerous work we did but I simply chose not to curse or use profanity.
That’s not to say I’m a saint, I am not. I am a sinner saved by grace and yes, I have thought in profane words on rare occasions. Even in anger however,  I usually refer mentally to other descriptive words; words that actually have meaning, descriptive value and purpose.
The truth is, most people who use profanity actually have no idea what they’re saying. They’re simply repeating  words they’ve heard others say since childhood and because profanity is basically simple one or two syllable words, they became easy to learn and pronounce. If parents or grand parents didn’t squelch such use through stern reprimand or behavioral modification, the words were assimilated into their everyday vocabulary.
Most people only think they know what the curse words they use mean; in reality the meaning is not at all what they have been led to understand. The etymology (origin and history)  of the word is actually surprising to most people.
The bottom line is there is simply NO need for the “gutter style language” so often prevalent in today’s society.
If you’re a frequent user of profanity, ask yourself WHY ? Is your vocabulary so limited that any words containing more than 4 or 5 letters with the occasional adding of “ing”  are beyond your comprehension or ability to pronounce?
If that’s the case, start reading a Dictionary or Thesaurus  and develop a QUALITY vocabulary. Then, you can be stern, firm or “pithy” in your postings without the use of profanity. Vulgarity is never necessary and should not be tolerated by any of us; especially in on-line social media.  It is unbecoming, disrespectful and demonstrates a lack of character and morality; both which are sorely needed in social media.
I realize all of this is very Non-Politically Correct these days especially with regard to millennials and  those on the Progressive Left; so be it.  As a result, let me dig in a little deeper  in being Non PC by sharing a true story of one of the South’s favorite sons, General Robert E. Lee.
As the Civil War was winding down, Confederate General Lee was meeting with some of his key officers discussing serious strategy. The language was very hostile, frustrating and “colorful” (profane & vulgar) to say the least. In the midst of this very important and strategic meeting, history records that General Lee turned around and began to walk away. A Colonel called out to him and said, “What’s wrong General Lee, there are no women or children here?” General Lee turned around and responded, “No sir, there are no women or children here but there is a Christian Gentleman”; the general turned around again and walked away.
God’s Word reminds us, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone”. Colossians 4:6
There simply isn’t any reason ever for profanity.
May God both guide and guard your speech.
© 2017 Lee W. Outlaw III, PhD
As a side NOTE, I will no longer tolerate rude, crude and distasteful language on any of my social media sites from ANYONE.

The suspicious mind Part II

The suspicious mind Part II

Paranoia – The poisonous partner

by
Dr. Lee Outlaw

paranoia

The pretense to suspicion in most people is certainly filled with a variety of feelings; everything from fear to delusions of grandeur and even a sense of false security.

Nothing however, is more conditioning and even poisonous to the mind in producing temporary or permanent suspicion than paranoia; the sense or feeling that someone or something is out to get you, cause you harm or even destroy you. Rather real or imagined, this person or thing can ultimately achieve the same result; impregnate your mind with suspicion.

Once the mind is filled with suspicion, it is often difficult to remove.

Paranoia comes in all shapes and sizes and has a tendency to rare its ugly head in almost everyone at some point in their life. It’s because of this near epidemic reach of paranoia and its destructive power that so many therapist and counselors try to eliminate any chance of paranoia being the root cause of their patient’s problem from the very start, giving support to the old adage that, “It’s not what you know but what you don’t know that can harm you”.

In other words it’s the fear of the unknown; the feeling that something or someone is out to get you but you just don’t know who or what it is and in most cases “how” the harm will come.

The obvious effect is the onset of emotional or mental instability which can ultimately lead to Paranoid Personality Disorder, delusional paranoia or even more serious mental illnesses.

Unfortunately, paranoia most often makes its appearance when our minds are most vulnerable such as times of stress, emotional instability, non-clinical depression (a.k.a. “the blues”) and relationship difficulties or changes, such as a break up, separation, divorce or the loss of a family member or close friend.

Most of us have heard someone say (or maybe thought our self), “Everything is falling on me, and everyone just picks on me or dumps on me.”  “Why doesn’t it stop?”

Does this sound familiar?

Paranoid MovieA perfect example as to the destruction  paranoia can have in  developing a suspicious  mind is the novel Paranoia by Joseph Finder from which the movie of the same name was made; starring  Liam HemsworthGary OldmanAmber Heard and Harrison Ford the emotion of “paranoia” is seen from nearly every level.

Although it bombed at the box office, “Paranoia” the movie is actually very good. It brings to light all the aspects of the entanglement of paranoia, secrecy, doubt and the conspiratorial mind as they weave their way deep into the unconscious of not just one but most of the characters, almost to the point of no return. It is only after one of the characters actually utilizes his suspicious mind for good that he’s able to turn his life around.

Just like in the movie, sometimes as the burden of no answers coupled with the slightest thought that someone besides you is causing your problems and suddenly paranoia takes root. If such thoughts are not eliminated, they dig deeper into the unconscious implanting a wave of successive suspicions until a once stable mind is totally and completely suspicious.

Everything becomes doubtful and no one can be trusted. Eventually things become extremely serious and even dangerous as reality and fantasy begin to merge and the ability to reason and rationalize become void, leaving the mind to wander aimlessly without purpose or direction.

The end result is the birth of a suspicious mind.

Although the movie “Paranoia” tends to demonstrate a positive effect from a suspicious mind, for most of the characters (as is the case in real life) the outcome was negative. Read the book or watch the DVD to learn more.

In Part III of “The Suspicious Mind”, we will discuss how doubt and secrecy play an intricate part in producing paranoia and ultimately developing a mindset totally controlled by suspicion.

© 2015 The Outlaw Observer and Opinion

 

 

 

Flood victims need emotional and spiritual strength in the time of storm-by Dr. Lee Outlaw

Flood victims need emotional and spiritual strength in the time of storm

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The Texas floods are a firm reminder of the devastation which can be caused by violent weather. It can almost instantly bring destruction of life and property changing thousands of lives forever.

We have seen the pictures and videos of the rising water and people being rescued from isolated areas caused by the floods but that’s not the entire picture; there are also the unseen pictures of the devastation brought to the minds and spirits of the victims of the flood.

3-Part Series on One Pastor’s Memories of Hurricane Andrew – by Dr. Lee Outlaw via the Examiner.com

This is in reference to my new Examiner.com article,

Flood victims need emotional and spiritual strength in the time of storm

One Pastor’s Memories of Hurricane Andrew
One pastor’s memories of Hurricane Andrew August 24, 2012

Twenty years later, living on the hurricane prone Gulf coast of Brownsville, Texas and this pastor/writer still remembers well my personal encounter with the devastation brought by Hurricane Andrew to my home, family and church in South Florida.Monday…
One pastor’s memories linger August 25, 2012

(Part II of “One Pastor’s memories of Hurricane Andrew”)After well over a decade of pastoring at that time, Sunday mornings were normally routine although like most pastors a bit ritualistic; last minute review of…
Enduring the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew August 27, 2012

(Part III and the conclusion to a three part series on Hurricane Andrew, twenty years later.)Almost like the proverbial bad horror film, Hurricane Andrew came, he destroyed and then he left.Unlike the bad horror film however, where you…

By Popular Demand

I have been very excited by so many readers of this blog as well as FaceBook, Twitter and Google plus as well as private email who have had positive comments about this series which I preached back in the 1980’s and later revised in the mid 1990’s.

There have been two complaints however, which I would like to address and hopefully have begun to solve.

The first is that I have not finished posting the final two articles in the series on “Procrastination” and “Temptation” and many have asked  if and when I was going to post the articles.

The answer to this question is YES, the final two articles will be posted. Along with the holidays and taking on  new writing responsibilities (for one, the new Brownsville, Texas Political writer/reporter for The Examiner.com), I have simply gotten behind with post.

The final two articles should be posted by the end of the week of January 20th, 2012 and if you are a subscriber or follow me on FaceBook, Twitter, or Google plus you will be automatically notified.

The second complaint was that the three previous articles on Anxiety/Fear, Anger and Jealousy had become difficult to find for reference due to my utilization of WordPress during the holidays as a distribution point for my Examiner.com articles.

I believe I have now solved that problem by dedicating an entire page entitled, “The Five Fires of Life”  with it’s very own tab next to the “About Dr Lee Outlaw” tab. Just click the tab or you can sample the first three by clicking the  link or photo above. The entire series will be duplicated in the order they are posted as well as the original post.

Again, I am delighted that this blog has become the ministry site I had prayed it would become in offering genuine, professional yet Christian answers to many of the struggles and difficulties we all face in life.

Many thanks to all of you who read, click the star ratings, LIKE and other social network buttons and a special thanks to those who comment and send emails.

By the way to those of you who have suggested I write a series on the Seven Deadly Sins, it is already in the works and it too will have a special page.

Thank you for reading.

©Copyright 2012 Dr. Lee W. Outlaw III